Yesterday, CJ and I met a few friends at the spray park for a cool down on a hot summer morning. CJ and I got to the park early and had the whole place to ourselves for a little while so I figured I'd try and get him used to the concept of shooting water as opposed to placid pools. {I will preface this story by saying that I acknowledge that, at his age, this park may be intimidating.} At any rate of flow, high strong sprays or gentle spills, CJ was all but terrified. I determined that I was not going to let my little man run away crying, especially when it was a situation I knew was safe. I picked him up and, at first, let him touch the water to show him how it didn't hurt. I did this a few times. Then he started asking to go touch but when I tried to put him down, he would cry and cling to my leg. After about half an hour of on and off water touching I finally picked him up and warned him we were "going in" and walked him under the umbrella of rain. He cried and clung to me and screamed a little but I did it a few more times despite the tears.
All of that was to set up my question{s}... When faced with the fears of your little one, how do you handle it? Do you have any recommendations or strategies? Do you have a dare-devil? Any thoughts on this, of any kind, would be greatly appreciated. I am very curious about how different parents handle a situation like this so please share!
{If you can't figure out how to comment... click on the "comments" link below this posting and you can add your comments there. Happy sharing!}
Ryan is more of our "dare-devil" and Colin is the one that takes a little more convincing/encouragement. Although, they each have their moments in each other's rolls. Tim and I do just what you did. Pick him up, run him through, and show him how much fun it is. Lots of encouragement. Colin still doesn't like the sprinkler though (or being sprayed by anything), but we believe he'll come around. We don't always "push" the issue, but do encourage. IE the sprinkler...if we get it out to play we'll run him through it a few times but then he's on his own. The last few times he choose to sit the remainder of the time out. Colin used to be really scared of horses/cows up close too. Thankfully Tim's parents have both of those and so getting to frequent there he's started to warm up to them. That's my two cents. Paige
ReplyDeleteI know this is possibly a little "jumping the gun"--but it could be a sensory thing
ReplyDeleteAidan does not/did not like showers, but is ok with baths--and could not handle some of the noises.
other than that, I would say give it time and see what happens.
Krystle, I think that it was great that you held him tight and did it together. It will help him as he becomes more brave each time he tries it with or with out you. I have learned with Ella that she needs me for a good 20 minutes in social settings for security. She was that way as a baby and still shows signs of it as a 5 year old. Once she knows she is safe, she forgets I am even there. Connor, on the other hand, secure all the way. I did things with Ella, just as you did with CJ in this situation, and I have noticed great improvements with her...slowly, but surly. Preschool worked wonders for her and she even walked across the stage and performed in front of many people without my assistance. This touched my heart so much as I was watching her overcome her fears. I hope this encourages you. Just give him time and your security and before you know it, he will be confident, independent, and brave. :)
ReplyDeleteLove, Alison
I'm right there with you Krystle, Isaac is the same way! Isaac was also deathly afraid of the spray park last year, along with swimming in a pool. I tried the pool this week, and he did better, but still clung to us for dear life, and needed lots of encouragement. Eli, on the other hand, had a great time, kicked like crazy, and stayed in the water twice as long as Isaac did, despite getting water up the nose numerous times :) He is also afraid of going down any slide by himself, and usually just stands there watching the other kids when we go to the park. So, I encourage him as much as I can, and do things with him to show him it is safe, but then let him be. I don't want to push too far, and risk having him not trust me. One more example: Isaac was on a trampoline with some friends, and was fine when he was on it by himself, but didn't want to jump with the other kids there unless we held him. We tried and tried, but he kept freaking out. Finally, we were able to show him how to jump and land on his butt, and from then on he was fine jumping without us while the other kids were on there. He just needed an "out", a way to fall safely when he couldn't balance on his own. So, as much as a get frustrated sometimes with his timidity, I value it and try to see what it is exactly that he is afraid of, and then go from there.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps! Let me know next time you go to the spray park, and Isaac and CJ can hang out together :)
Bethany