He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young
. {Isaiah 40:11}

13 December 2010

I've been so overwhelmed lately by my schedule. It's my own fault. I've signed myself up for a lot. I hesitate to say that I've signed myself up for "too much" because I have the full support of sweet hubs, yes, the very same man who encourages me to to keep posting on my blog also encourages me to keep on keepin' on {even when it means his dinners are grilled cheese or rotisserie chicken from the store and that he runs out of clean undershirts}.
By God's grace, alone, I have been able to maintain my patience far beyond what I ever have before. When I'm scrambling around and CJ wants to sit and chat about all the Disney characters on the back of a DVD he found, I have been able, for the most part, to take a few minutes to sit down with him and discuss things. I can tell you that even when I'm not busy and just a wife and mommy, it can be hard to make time for that. Miss Mak has proven to be a super-easy baby {barring hunger or tiredness} and hasn't seemed to notice all the running around.
BUT.... I am tired!
Scratch that. I.am.exhausted.
I am constantly asking myself if I am in the Lord's will because this kind of tired just doesn't seem right. And yet, things are falling together "like butta". Encouragement from those around me comes exactly when it's needed. Enthusiastic and optimistic friends are nearby when I start to doubt. Just when I think the house couldn't get any messier, Hubs has cleaned the clutter and filled the dishwasher, CJ has picked up his toys, or I have found time to vacuum which ALWAYS needs to be done. Just when I start to feel guilty because I haven't spent as much time with my kids as I usually do, Mak pulls up to the couch and reaches for me to snuggle for a few minutes, then happily crawls away to play contentedly on her own. Just when I think I have come to the end of myself, He gently reminds me that I have been treading water in the deep end in vain because He's been in control the whole time.
Why is that so hard to remember? 

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