He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young
. {Isaiah 40:11}

28 March 2010

When All Else Fails, Make Him Coffee

(What to do when your man drives you crazy!)

My husband happens to be very particular about his fingernails. Once they reach a length where he can tap them on the table he considers them "disgusting" and goes on a savage hunt for clippers. Thankfully, it just so happens that we have collected several different nail clippers in varying sizes and purposes around our house yet he manages to lose them all at the same time. Just the other afternoon he called me from work to ask if I could find a pair of nailclippers, keep them close to me until he got home and have them waiting for him when he got here. You can imagine, amist the piles of laundry and two kids, just how important I considered this task. I knew exactly where a pair was. As a matter of fact, I had told him the day before precisely where to find them. Did he bother to look? No! Instead, he waited until that moment to ask me to stop what I was doing so he could clip his nails. Ugh! While waiting for him I entered a conversation with myself. It started off something like "You have got to be kidding me! CJ stinks, Mak is crying again, the sink is full of dishes because the dishwasher still needs to be emptied and the laundry needs to be changed over all before I start dinner and THAT MAN can't find his own dang nail clippers when I told him TWO DAYS ago exactly where to find them?!" Moments after my mental rant I came to the realization that venting to him would only make me look like an idiot and make him defensive. I then decided that when he walked in the door I was going to hand the clipping contraption over to him with a smile and not say a word about how ridiculous the situation was or how inconsiderate I thought he was for expecting me to stop doing my work around the house (which was ultimately for him anyway) and make his silly clipper quest my priority. (Just so you know, I have a terrible habit of telling my dear one exactly what's on my mind and it usually isn't done in the kindest fashion.) Needless to say, he came home two hours later with a grateful smile when he saw me standing at the door with nail clippers in hand. He somehow managed to miss the steam whisping out of my ears. Words of complaint nearly pushed themselves past my forcefully smiling lips so I turned towards the kitchen and did the only thing I could think to do to release my tension. I made him a cup of coffee. I went right up to that coffee maker and forcefully opened the water tank door, poured the water, haphazerdly threw in the coffee grinds, slammed the coffee filter door shut and nearly punched that start button all with my jaw clenched tight. I can honestly tell you that by the time the coffee was done brewing my mood was lightened.

You may be thinking that my attitude seemed petty (which it was) or that I should be grateful that my husband's request was as minor as it was. Maybe you've encountered more serious disputes with your husband where you were certain he was clearly in the wrong and were convinced that anyother sensible person would see it your way. Be assured, my husband and I have had bigger fights and I've been upset with him for bigger things but this principle works the same at all levels of frustration. It is the times that we most want to yell and scream about the injustices done that we need to realize that our desire to freak out is selfishness and I've discovered that one of the best ways to fight my selfish attitude is to do something for someone else. In this case, the best way to not only show my love to my husband and to keep him from becoming upset right along with me (which would have accomplished nothing) was to make him his favorite thing... coffee.

When you get upset with your mate (and you will) I encourage you to stop before you speak, take a minute to assess the situation, figure our if you are seeing his side of things, and if nothing else, go do something for him that you know makes him happy. Not only may it make you feel better, it may confuse the heck out of him!

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