Lesson's Learned...er...Learning

I have done much worth sharing these days.
I've done some reading.
Other than that I have led a somewhat boring life.
That's not a complaint.
Three kids add plenty of "spice" to my life.

I have learned a few things, about life... about myself lately.
A lot of what the pastor said on Sunday hit me hard.
I needed it.
I figured I'd share some things with you if for no other reason than for me to keep track of the lessons God has been teaching me recently.

Here goes... 
1. Every action speaks. Everything I do tells something about me. I wonder if what I do tells the story of a woman who is different from the world. I wonder if people see that I care more about something above and beyond this world and the "goods" it has to offer. I know that I daily show my kids what is most important to me. I try to show them that they are very important in my life. That their daddy is even more important to me. I'm not so sure I show them that God is the most important thing in my life though. I would guess they think the computer was at the top of my list these days.  Moving is up there. Taking time to read to them. To be with them. I would hope they've seen that in me. With that in mind, my goal is to see myself as others see me. I'd like to "self-check" daily and be purposeful not accidental about showing Christ to my kids and others.

2. Being in the Word is directly proportionate to my ability to feel and share joy. When I decide I'm too tired or now is not the right time or I'll do it later... my "joy bank" is depleted and it shows. I'm moody, I'm impatient, I nag, I get angry, I am everything I don't want to be. It may be in small ways like trying to control the events of my day or yelling at my kids instead of explaining or griping at husband instead of having a conversation or asking a question. I have found that it's the same way for hubs. When one of us is having a short tempered day, we often ask if we've done our devotions. On the flip side... when we spend quality time dedicated to getting to know our Savior, our marriage is sweet. We have more tender moments with one another which the kids see and we desire more one on one time with the kids. It changes everything.
We are most strongly influenced by those we spend the most time with.

3. My prayers are often too specific and sometimes a sign of how little I know my Abba. At church on Sunday, Pastor gave a great illustration of what it looks like to know your Daddy. He explained that his children know him well enough that before even asking if they can have ice cream for breakfast he's going to say know. They know him. They know his character. They know what he's going to say before he says it.  My own dad always said "ask me something I can say 'yes' to". That doesn't mean I'm guaranteed to get what I ask for but I can most definitely rule out the "no"s. At hearing that, it hit me, I need to change the way I pray. I need to start praying for things God has already promised to give me and stop praying for things that I think will fulfill me. I need to pray more for humility, slowness of anger, and kindness instead of change in others. I need to pray more for patience, confidence in God's goodness, and self discipline rather than the specific things that I'm sure would make me happy. {I've come to learn that I have no idea what would make me happy. The only certainty I have is that God, Himself, is the only thing that satisfies.} I need to pray more for joy, pure motives, and a desperation for God rather than the material things this world has to offer. I fear I've been missing the picture all along.

4. Dissatisfaction is what led to the fall of man. It was Adam and Eve's desire for more that caused them to sin. They lived in perfection and still wanted more. What could my selfish desires lead me or my family to do? If they could ruin mankind with one action, what damage could I do to my family? To my friends? To the lives of strangers?

5. I must live like I'm already dead and I must know the value of the prize for which I fight. It is easy to fight against things as a believer. Sadly, it's what Christians are most known for. To the general public we're known as anti-gay, anti-drinking, anti-fun, anti-science, anti-Semitic, anti-unbelievers/other religions... we're not known for being "for" many things. I know that I, myself, fail to show a God that is pro-love, pro-forgiveness, pro-compassion, pro-generous through my actions.
What if I lived my life my life passionately for Christ as if I had nothing to lose? Would my life look different? Would people who know me see more of Christ in me if I wasn't afraid of how they look at me? What if I was truly passionate about the prize of eternal life with Christ in heaven? Would I take this world a little less seriously or be more adamant about being a witness to the beauty of a relationship with God?
Based on my current state I can only assume that I consider my life to dear to lose and I don't know the God who died for me well enough to consider a future with Him a prize. I'm working on that.
Christ, the Son, knew that He was going to die and that His Father was going to turn His back on Him and yet He died anyway. He lived life on earth as if He were already dead. Look at the testimony His life was. Look at how effective His ministry was because of it!
Christ also knew the prize. Us. That should be humbling. He came to earth and suffered for us because He thought we were worth it. The Creator of this world thought I was worth it.
Why is it so dang hard to live like He is?